I have worked very little on this chapter. It is basically my favorite quotes for questionaires compiled and catagorized. Any help with flow and stories would be so much appreciated.

 

Taking care of your new little one begins by living the golden rule as we find quality time for our child, set a schedule, let dad help and use judgment as we set boundaries. Consider the golden rule as you contemplate how you will raise your baby.

 

Find Quality Time

 

Don’t wait for your little one to grow up before teaching them.

 

In hindsight, I wish that I could have forced myself to enjoy doing nothing – but holding my little one especially when feeding him. Our friends have had much to say about finding quality time for your little one and your toddlers.

 

"It’s fun when we take trips to the zoo, museums, or even a nice park. In these situations, we are out of our routine and we know we are at this place to enjoy each other’s company and have fun! I feel like an hour of undivided attention at the park is worth more to my kids than an afternoon of spotty parenting as I run around the house cleaning up and making dinner, and, and, and . . ."

 

"Love your babies. Rock them, nurture them, hold them and love them. Gentleness and soft voices are the best. Always listen to their NEEDS and use judgment on their WANTS. Love is a need. Being held all day is a want. Difficult children need time, soft voices especially, calmness, routine is a must, and attention from both parents."

 

"There are seasons in your life where almost your whole focus has to be on your family. You have to limit the things you do outside of your home at certain times in your life because if you don’t your family, the most important thing on earth, will suffer. She said don’t sacrifice your family."

 

"During the first year at home (the only time some of you will have with one child) hold your baby, nap, read, be lazy, focus on things you won’t be able to do with more children in the house. For me, it was the year I caught up on all the sleep in missed in college."

 

"I think something that I have to remind myself constantly is that I can’t make my kids behave a certain way or force them to make the same decisions that I would make. My job is to be the best mother that I know how to be, but their spirits are a gift. I helped to form their bodies, but what gives my children life, their spirits, are independent of me. Sometimes I forget to sit back and laugh at their antics and remember that they will only be toddlers once. I know that I will miss their mischief one day, but it’s hard to appreciate it at the moment you discover a bottle of conditioner emptied and smeared across the bathroom and two very scented boys nervously looking at you to see how bad they are in trouble! Its experiences like these that translate into priceless memories. I don’t remember the times when things went without a hitch, maybe because they don’t happen at our house (ha ha), or maybe because those times were boring and forgettable. Life is a journey, and if you keep looking for the end goal, you miss the adventure in between."

 

Remember that your children are guests in your home loaned to you by your father in heaven. If you are having a hard time pray to want to play with your kids and be silly.

 

In the wee hours~

Only starlight peeks through the window shades

Everyone is softly slumbering all around….

Except my precious bundle and I

We rock and rock through the frosty night

Mind and spirit numb and weary

Body weak and healing

Heart so warmed by this heavenly little creature

The smell of that sweet breath and soft head

Tiny fingers and toes all a’ curl

All the fears and joys of the whole world

Wrapped in one small and glorious new life

Isn’t it a wonder that the whole experience

Brings out the divinity in one such a I

By~ Rebecca Jones

 

Create a Schedule/Routine

 

I learned early on that kids thrive on structure. And structure makes life easier, not harder for parents.

 

On Becoming Baby Wise by Ezzo and Bucknam is the book that has been most recommended in my surveys. There might be some good quotes to take from that book. There is especially good advice about having a schedule allowing moms to go back to work for a few months after their babies are born and continue breast-feeding.

 

The book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” has also been highly recommended, but I have not read it. There may be some appropriate information for this chapter in that book.

 

"I wish I had not believed the Dr. Sears demand-feeding/co-sleeping philosophy: that your child will grow up feeling loved and secure if you give him everything he wants right when he wants it. For me it was the sure path to loss of self-identity, exhaustion, marital conflict, and regular unhappy interactions with children trapped in a behavior pattern I could not live with. My first two babies were at my breast every second, no one else could ever console them, and they continue to have sleep problems as preschoolers. With my third child, I adopted the Babywise parent-directed feeding philosophy which better serves the physical and mental health and well-being of our entire family."

 

"I think that my weakness is with sleep! None of my three kids have slept through the night until 6 months old and that is when I “ferberized” them. Admittedly, it’s because I am a “softy” and hate to hear them cry. But the Ferber Method says 6 months is a safe age and also I am usually completely sleep deprived by then. Truthfully, it has always taken one night of pretty minimal crying (1-2 hours) and they are done – sleeping completely through the night for 10-12 hours. However, I always wonder why I didn’t do it sooner when I see how easy it is and how they respond positively to it. I think the thing I should have done was read a few more books on sleep methods (I only read one) to see what works best and try out other methods." 

Let Dad help and do it his way.

It think there are probably some great stories for this section out there. Please share.

 

Use Judgment/Set Boundaries

 

"Don’t let them have the control—You are in control. (If you get angry then they have the control…. Don’t let them decide how you are going to feel/act.)"There might be something from The Power of Positive Parenting by Glen Latham or from any of the Parenting with Love and Logic books.

 

Another book that has been recommended is Misconceptions. The gal who recommended it said it was great because it let all of us new moms know that our difficult times are totally normal and then she said my best tip that I thought was heaven sent was swaddling my baby like a burrito.

 

"I wish I had been able to express my needs to my mothers who came to give me help after the boys were born. Do what works for you and your baby.! You have been blessed with all the gifts and talents God knew you would need to handle what he would give to you. You will make yourself crazy if you try to follow all the advice you get or read."

 

"Some of the most difficult children are the most intelligent. I learned to smile and nod as people gave advice but then pour out my heart and soul to my Heavenly Father and follow the counsel from Him who has truly raised the most difficult of children!"

 

"One thing I try to do when making a difficult parenting decision is envision me and my family on a desert island. I think, "If no one in the world was influencing this decision or if no one knew what my decision would be, which road would I take? What is really right for me and my family? " Sometimes it is tough to make decisions that might seem strange to those closest to us, but this picture helps me clear my mind a bit. "

 

"I guess my piece of advise to other moms would be to read as much as possible. I read 4 or 5 books about parenting and it helped me be so much more easy going as a first time mom. First time moms tend to be very particular and forget to sit back and enjoy these wonderful moments in your child’s life. Don’t miss out on the little things! "

 

"The best parenting tip for new moms is don’t worry it is only a stage."

 

On day ten my sweet baby became colicky. That was a hard transition for me. Babies weren’t supposed to cry in my book! Babies were supposed to be calm and easy. She didn’t come out of it until she was 4 months old and mobile. It was a hard 4 months as I worked with her and learned a lot about patience. There were times when I felt that I had done something wrong. Other times I worried that this was how she would always be. Being a perfectionist, I wanted everyone to see her as the cutest, happiest, and best baby. So I spent lots of time trying to work with her so that others didn’t realize how difficult she was. Other times I felt down because this wasn’t how I had pictured motherhood. But she came out of it and I realized none of those worries were necessary."

 

“Since then, my third child was also colicky. Luckily for only 5 weeks. But he was the worst case – non-stop crying all day long! I remember my husband was on a trip and I had the three kids. He was crying as usual and the other two girls ended up in tears too. I looked at them and thought I could cry with them or laugh at the situation. Luckily, I laughed. A good friend, Brad Wilcox, taught me “if you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” I realized, as my son was colic that I had truly grown since my first child. I didn’t blame myself or feel sorry for myself. I laughed if necessary. I just pressed on as a mom and knew that it would eventually go away. And to his credit, at week 7 he became my happiest, most easy going baby yet.”

 

Enjoy the Journey